This continues a series of blogs I write in thankfulness for the people in my life that have really been God’s gifts to me. This is #4. Even though, in the big scheme of things, he’s #1 to me.
One thing I’ve learned the past week with Ben’s death and being with so many of his friends and family is that we must be thankful for the people we love and cherish every moment with them. I’ve been a youth pastor for 13 years. This past Friday night, I was at the first ever BTHS / Creekside H.S. football game, spending time with kids who were mourning the loss of their friend Ben Geiger. They did a ceremonial lap with these black flags and a moment of silence.
I hugged a lot of people… as the second quarter hit, my phone rang and this is what I heard….
“Hey man, I’m on the bus and we’ll be leaving for the Middle East in about 10 minutes.”
At those words, all the emotions I’d been trying to help others deal with overflowed inside of me, and I lost it. My brother was finally heading to the Middle East to serve his country.
“Ok buddy. I know you’re usually pretty chill…but I want you to know, you’re my brother and I love you with all my heart. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had…we are praying for your safety every moment of every day.”
After telling him again that I loved him, I hung up the phone and fell apart in that parking lot. As soon as he called, I began making my way out, cause I knew I was running on empty. It’s like the reality finally hit me. My brother, after 4 years in the military, would be in harms way now every day for at least a year.
Tighe’s the absolute best friend I’ve ever had. He was born in 1980. Once he learned to walk, I’d make him walk into dark rooms in front of me…that way, if a monster was there, i’d have time to get away. Once, I scalded him with hot water in a bath…i’d been throwing cold water on him, and he was laughing, laughing…then when i threw hot water on him, i thought it’d be funny…he cried his eyes out. I did too…probably from the whipping I got….but mainly cause I couldn’t stand to hurt my brother.
Not that I didn’t hurt him a bunch more times. I’ve always been way bigger than him. I once threw a brick at him to scare him…………………
Today’s the day we bury Ben. So many things run through my head on all of this..as in just under 2 hours I’ll be getting to the church preparing to somehow apply God’s word to wounds that are deeper and wider than can be fathomed.
Last night, I stood at his casket, hands on the side, and looked at the shell that was his body. His spirit is gone….. in the casket there were a couple cans of kodiak, a pair of racing goggles, a cross blessed by the pope that Big Ben got for him, a racing magazine, a letter from his sister, a toy motorcycle, and a couple other articles.
2 hours later, I was at Jason’s house, peering over into little Grayson’s crib. His eyes wide open, stairing at the puppy toys rotating above his head. it’s like he was just taking everything in…
And I knew that back some 17 years ago, Ben was in a place just like that.
And that last Tuesday, Ben’s wide eyes were opened for what seemed like the first time to him…like that baby, he was a newborn in the kingdom of God….seeing things he couldn’t have even dreamed.
1 Cor. 15:19-”And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we are more to be pitied than anyone in the world.”
Filed under: Religion, Youth Ministry | Tags: bartram trail high school, ben geiger, creekside, jacksonville, motocross, motorcross, st. augustine florida
Last night at 9:45 pm one of the guys in the band I led bible studies for last year gave me a call. Landon told me his friend Ben, age 17, had died in a motorcross accident during some practice time.
Since 1995 I’ve gotten calls like this…. and I don’t think we’re ever ready for any of them. Kelly Hawkins died that year as I had just started working as a youth minister. That crushed my life beyond recognition. In the years since… Grandpa, Aunt Joyce, Emilio, Johnny, John, …the list just goes on.
Ben was a student of mine back in my high school teaching days. As a freshman and Junior, I got to know this kid…and during his junior year, he started coming to Celebration Church with his friends on Wednesday nights.
Today he’s gone. On September 16 of his senior year, he died tragically. The phone has not stopped ringing. I can’t finish one text without receiving another. Myspace is melting down with heartache. We hit both high schools today in our area, and both almost ran out of tissues. His family called back this afternoon, I spent some time with them, and I can’t find any words to describe one bit of this.
I love you Ben. You’re a trickster and quite possibly the funniest kid I ever met. Your friends are just ruined today. I lost count of the number of kids who cried around me at both schools-not to mention the middle school kids that look up to you. A days like a thousand years in heaven, so this earth is far behind you. For us, this day has been a long day too. See you on the other side.
For friends of Ben, feel free to leave a comment here with a story about Ben… I’m going to share a few at his funeral and others with his family. thanks so much.
Big John
