Best Friends I’ve ever Had: my Dad, Steve R. Scott

Originally Published August 10, 2010

“Best Friends I ever Had”… is a blog series I started a couple years back.  Part appreciating the people whove helped me along the way, part therapy, and part hoping that someday, somehow, someone would search their name on google on a rainy day and see they’ve made a big difference in the world of at least one person.

When I think about my dad, who I’ve seen 2-3 times a year since I was about 7-8 years old, I think about the decisions I’ve made in my adult life that -no matter how badly I wish I could change them, I cant.  There’s no waking up from my sleep and realizing it was all a dream-only waking up and walking today’s path God has for me, loving Him and my neighbors with all I have. 

My dad wakes up everyday knowing there are decisions he can’t change.  He can’t go back and keep our family together.  Instead, when he wakes up, He has a wonderful wife of 27 or so years, a Sunday school class they lead, a job he took for less money so he could be home more, 2 stepkids with kids and grandkids of their own. 

My dad drove away when I was in second grade.  I still remember his little Orange truck on a rainy day driving away with a matress tied down in its bed.  I remember laying on that carport 3 days later wishing he’d come home…and laying down on an old bag of cement there during a thunderstorm hoping that when i woke up it would have all been a nightmare.  But it didnt happen.

Dear AJ: Every breath you take

I remember that first night after you were born.  I woke up constantly that night to peak over in our bed to be sure you were still breathing.  Now, some 6 weeks later, once in a while I still nudge you to hear you make that “eeeeehhh” noise. 

Have you ever thought about breathing?  I mean, God gave us these bodies, but then the first and last things these bodies will ever do is take a breath.  I once read the average human being will take about 600 Million breaths in a 71 year lifetime….that’s 600 million moments.   

We waste a lot of breaths on petty stuff.  Once in a while, something will happen to get our attention….A friend will call in a time of need; a kid will pray with us from behind bars; a mentor or hero will experience tremendous loss and sacrifice.  It’s especially in those times that- no matter what is happening good or bad- we’ll take another breath…. 1 more moment God gives us to love Him and love others. 

I think about all the dreams God must have for you.  Anytime you ever think He’s finished, take a breath.  Every breath you take is a reminder, a string around your finger…. you are a promise that He’s made and one that He’ll keep.

I guess that makes every moment I spend with you a chance I get to be in the promise land.  )

God on the Wire: if these kids aren’t ours, then whose are they?

“The kids in this school aren’t yours. You do your peace with them and you let them go.”

The video here is a slice of the Wire, Season 4, Episode 12. Duquan, aka Dukie, is an 8th grade kid whose addict parents sell his school uniforms for drugs and hardly ever feed him. Prez, a new teacher, intervenes, buys new uniforms for Duquan, keeps them at school, and has his wife do Duquan’s laundry. Also, he teaches him computer skills and builds a strong mentor relationship with him. As this video shows, the joy is shortlived.

Duquan is “At Risk Youth” as they come. For moments in Season 4, he has flashes of greatness, and you think he will somehow escape the hell he’s lived. Prez is his lifeline, but Dukie lets go.

What the assistant principal, Ms. Donnelly, said was her way of coping. And she’s wrong.

Lost Marbles: “If I can kick drugs, I can deliver a baby”

“If I can kick drugs, I can deliver a baby.”- Charlie

When Claire’s boyfriend bolted about halfway through her pregnancy, she decided she’d never  be able to raise a child alone. A fatherless child herself, she flew Oceanic 815 to LA to give birth to Aaron and give him to his new adoptive parents. 

On the island, Claire finds identity and redemption thanks to the tribe of characters she fell out of the sky with.  The survivors of Oceanic 815 help her deliver her baby, raise it in infancy, and believe in herself to be the best option for Aaron’s life…all while those characters face major hurdles themselves (like the most significant character to Claire and Aaron- Charlie who’s kicking heroine). 

Life drops all of us ‘Out of the Sky’ onto the dirt we live on now and then.  So often we wonder why we got marooned halfway to a dream or why that rescue ship hasn’t come in yet.  Life doesn’t happen when our dreams are achieved.  It happens on the way there.   

Are there Claires and Aarons on the dirt around where you are right now?  Build that raft, make that signal fire, find that radio signal that will get you to your dream….. but along the way, look for the characters God’s put in your story today…and what role you can play in their rescue and redemption.

Dear AJ: why we’re all here

Today’s your due date.  It’s been a pretty smooth ride so far.  And a big reason is… you’re alone in there.

Once you meet other people,  cry and breathe that first breath, everything changes.

With all it’s beauty, wonder, and blessings, you’ll learn that Earth’s a pretty painful place when you think about it.  War, sickness, famine, death, violence, abuse…life on earth begins to feel like 1 large unsolvable problem.   That problem makes us question whether God really loves us…or even if he’s real at all. 

Anytime you begin to feel this way…. realize that we’re not here to get crushed by the problem…we’re all here as God’s solution to the problem.  Your smile, love, kindness, action, prayer, ministry, care, and sacrifice will rescue people from the black hole of doubt and despair.  We….you… are a lifeline.