Once a month or so I try to get out a “Best Friends I ever had” post. Standing at the end of so many caskets this past 12 months has reminded me to never leave feelings or thoughts unsaid when it comes to thankfulness for friends and family. Excuse the picture..that’s b4 I found out how to trim my red beard correctly…
Tonight Jozef graduates from a 1 year outpatient rehab program. I took this photo with him on the last day of January, 2008, about a week after he was realeased from jail.
I met Joe back in 2002. Some of his neighbors brought him to a youth group I was working in. He was a 6th grader at the time. He soon became a regular attender and even volunteered to play drums in our church band. We went to youth camps together, had lock-ins, and played way too much Madden Football games(most of which I won-but when I didn’t, he sure let me know about it).
Jozef was in 8th grade when I met and married Rachel. He and I had this Epic journey together that Winter in 2004…from Florida to Alabama to go and retrieve all my belongings out of storage from my Decatur days 
) . In 30 hours, we drove to Alabama, got all my furniture, and back. We talked, laughed, ate lots of Wendy’s Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers, and barely made it back to FL alive.
Joe barely lived through high school. He struggled, got into drugs and much more. After a long process, he ended up in jail. You can find more about that time for him here. While in jail, I went to see him after he told his mom He’d given his life back to Christ. I continued to visit him for the next 8 months while he was in and out of jail and rehab during a headspinning legal process.
Tonight, Jozef graduates from the outpatient drug rehab program that’s helped him stay clean the past 22 months. I can’t begin to express how proud I am of Joe. He was surrounded by our church family after his release, and I know they’ve played a big part in his journey since. Tomorrow he’ll wake up free from a drug program- with no mandatory testing. As proud as I am of him, I know what waits around the corner…the types of people and the strength of the temptations. It’s my prayer that He finds God’s plan for his life and has the joy I’ve seen in him only grow.
The kid has the biggest heart of anyone I know. If I could tell him one thing, it’d be this…: Jozef- thanks for being a friend and brother to me and Rachel. Your example of faith, total dependence on God, and honesty in expressing your need for a circle of friends to hold you up is a real treasure for so many of us….a measuring stick for our own lives. Keep the faith brother. Be the man God has anointed and called you to be. Yes, he has ministry and opportunity waiting for you that is a direct by-product of your dependency and relationship with him. Know that we are forever proud of the leaps and bounds you have taken…and your love for us and your family of faith is something that can never be replaced. There’s a gaping void when you’re not around…in the lives of students, adults, and friends alike. Be called. Be present. Be His.
-big John
Filed under: Family, Uncategorized | Tags: happy 2009, in-laws, wayne and marie
As we ended 2008 and began 2009, I was with 3 of the closest friends I have in my life: Rachel my wife,& her parents- Wayne and Marie. This vacation has been so refreshing at their home…w/ all the feel& hospitality of a winter wonderland bed and breakfast. As we ended 2008 sledding, skating, and travelling as a family, I can’t remember ever being happier.
Growing up in a divorced family, I would look for mini glimpses into examples of Christians couples old enough to be my parents. I would get snapshots here and there, but on 4-25-04, I became part of the portrait of my dreams when they welcome me to their family when I married their oldest daughter. I fly out of here in 2 hours, & this is probably the toughest it’s ever been to leave their two story wintry casa here in Des Moines, Iowa.
Filed under: Family, Religion, Youth Ministry | Tags: adolescents, influence, nywc, parents, pastors, peers
At the National Youth Worker Conference last week, I heard a stat that peaked my interest. For the first time in a long time, the #1 influence on students is no longer ‘parents’. So what say you….which live person (outside of Jesus) is the #1 spiritual influence on your life? There are no wrong answers (unless you say it’s Tom from Myspace)…
This will be our first Thanksgiving with my little brother in a warzone. Rachel and I will be driving next week to Forest, Mississippi to spend time with the hero of my life. My mom.
She lost her mother when she was 10, left home at 15 to get marrie, and when she graduated Raleigh High School in 1974, she was 3 months pregnant with me. At a time when abortion was en vogue, she chose to have me in spite of tough times. When I was 7, her husband, my dad left her alone with me and my 1 year old brother. She drove a uhaul van 6 hours back to Mississippi with her 2 baby boys, moved in with my grandpa, got 2 jobs, and hasn’t stopped working since. I just don’t think this blog would be big enough to say enough about momma.
Filed under: Celebration Church, Family, Youth Ministry | Tags: dreams come true, giving, miracle offering
The weekend of Nov. 15 culminates in our Imagine Miracle Offering. Today, during our fasting and praying, I really was struck that every day has been a miracle offering from God to me. And that the church Rachel and I call home is a big part of His miracle offering to us.
We both grew up in small churches with very small youth groups. We really didn’t have anyone modeling to us what a good marriage looked like for a young Christian couple. I had big dreams in my heart to be the youth worker God had called me to be. I stood in a stadium in 1995 in Tampa FL at a Promisekeepers event, and there I heard God tell me that I’d be a man for Him, and that I’d make a difference.
It didn’t feel like I was making much of a difference 5 years ago when we first got married. After moving to Jax, Rachel and I began looking for a church. We visited a couple of churches, but no door opened even for me to be a youth volunteer…much less in a leadership position. At one chuch a guy told me I needed to help with stacking tables for 2 years, and then, maybe, maybe then i could become a youth volunteer. I was an 9 year vet of youth ministry, and sitting on my porch while a hurricane was swelling off the Florida coast in 2004, I wrote in my journal that maybe my time as a youth pastor was over.
then God’s miracle offering came to me.
Filed under: Family | Tags: california, class of 1996, colorado springs colorado, don and anna warrick, football, iowa, kevin c. hetrick, missouri, united states air force academy, usafa
I graduated high school in 1993 and found myself soon headed off to boot camp at the U.S. Air Force Academy. The day before I shipped out for basic training, my old mentor, Mr. Nick Welsh, was in the hospital, and gave me some parting words of wisdom. He was a WW2 vet, like my grandpa, and wanted to encourage me in my faith. He showed me a picture he drew of an aircraft carrier- a little Jeep with a huge sign on the back that said, “follow me”. It was to help planes get to their spots either during take off or landing. He told me that I needed to find someone of stronger faith than me to follow as I started my college/football/and military career. How right he was…..
Kevin C. Hetrick was that someone. Kevin was one year older than me, and had come to the Academy from Missouri/Iowa. He was not a Christian when he got there, but found Christ through FCA and the College Bible study held weekly at the home of Don and Anna Warrick. I found myself assigned to Fourth Squadron, “Fightin 4″, and had a tough time adjusting to the new environment. I was a roommate with one agnostic and a lapsed Catholic. I quickly became a lapsed Protestant. I began cussing very frequently, and during my first semester found myself with the guys becoming quite the college statistic.
Then Kevin came along. He also played football, as a Tight End for the Falcons. He was a sophomore in our squadron, and I met him while at evening meals after football fall practices. He started trying to look after some of the freshmen players, staying after us to work hard both academically and athletically.
Kevin gave me the nickname, “Slim”. You can only guess why…
Filed under: Family | Tags: bitterness, forgiveness, henry c. holmes, morton mississippi, my stepdad
I’ve been doing a series here called Best Friends I Ever Had. then today, I read about how Jesus said to forgive those who hurt us. To hurt for those who hurt you.
I’ve been speaking to groups for a long time…but I’ve never talked about me forgiving Henry C. Holmes, my first stepfather. Maybe it’s because I’ve never truly done it.
I lived in his home from 1982-1988 I think. Grades 3-8. The most formative years of my life. Mom and Henry divorced in 88. She left him….I only saw him one time after that. I heard a few years back he was now disabled.
A Vietnam Vet, Henry had spent several years in helicoptors over Vietnam. I think he was a gunner. He saw horrible things, experienced horrible things, and came back to the states a wounded but strong man. Henry was a hard worker, and tried to teach me about that. I was a bit lazy for a 4th grader. He didn’t like that I read books so much, and was really happy when I started playing football in 7th grade. I don’t know if he ever came to any of my games once we left.
Henry and I aren’t friends. I harbored bitterness towards him for several years. I’m not going to elaborate as to anything that happened over those years in his home…I can say this. He loved my brother very much and was a good father figure to him. He never laid a hand on any of us. And Henry was a hurt soul.
I just want to say this: thank you Henry for trying to love us through the hurt. We turned out ok. I want you to know that I forgive you for anything that I or you may have thought you did wrong. I love you and hope we can meet again someday and catch up. I haven’t prayed for you in a long time, but I am today. You’ve done so many good things in life, and I hope that God and you are friends again.
-JD
This continues a series of blogs I write in thankfulness for the people in my life that have really been God’s gifts to me. This is #4. Even though, in the big scheme of things, he’s #1 to me.
One thing I’ve learned the past week with Ben’s death and being with so many of his friends and family is that we must be thankful for the people we love and cherish every moment with them. I’ve been a youth pastor for 13 years. This past Friday night, I was at the first ever BTHS / Creekside H.S. football game, spending time with kids who were mourning the loss of their friend Ben Geiger. They did a ceremonial lap with these black flags and a moment of silence.
I hugged a lot of people… as the second quarter hit, my phone rang and this is what I heard….
“Hey man, I’m on the bus and we’ll be leaving for the Middle East in about 10 minutes.”
At those words, all the emotions I’d been trying to help others deal with overflowed inside of me, and I lost it. My brother was finally heading to the Middle East to serve his country.
“Ok buddy. I know you’re usually pretty chill…but I want you to know, you’re my brother and I love you with all my heart. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had…we are praying for your safety every moment of every day.”
After telling him again that I loved him, I hung up the phone and fell apart in that parking lot. As soon as he called, I began making my way out, cause I knew I was running on empty. It’s like the reality finally hit me. My brother, after 4 years in the military, would be in harms way now every day for at least a year.
Tighe’s the absolute best friend I’ve ever had. He was born in 1980. Once he learned to walk, I’d make him walk into dark rooms in front of me…that way, if a monster was there, i’d have time to get away. Once, I scalded him with hot water in a bath…i’d been throwing cold water on him, and he was laughing, laughing…then when i threw hot water on him, i thought it’d be funny…he cried his eyes out. I did too…probably from the whipping I got….but mainly cause I couldn’t stand to hurt my brother.
Not that I didn’t hurt him a bunch more times. I’ve always been way bigger than him. I once threw a brick at him to scare him…………………
Filed under: Family, Religion | Tags: man cave, palm tree preservation, tropical storm fay
rachel and i bunkered down since last night…. fay pretty much hit 35 miles south of us at flagler beach, has brought lots of rain and wind our way (not a lot compared to the 25 inches 1:15 south of us at Palm Bay.
recently, we converted our garage into a man-cave of sorts. with a couch, some lights, coffee table, candles. funny thing is, she likes it almost as much as i do. we’ve spent a couple hours out here tonight just chillin, watchin the wind bring us sheets of rain. maybe i should set up my rain collector sideways outside to get a better gauge on how much rain we’ve gotten?
tonight should be a time with a few waves here and there. the funniest moment so far for us would have to be what we saw when we came out this morning. our next door neighbor, mario, backed up his work van, extended the ladder, and effectively secured the palm tree he planted here almost 3 years ago when we moved in. with the winds coming from the north and east, he did it! i’m confident I’ll wake up friday, and the tree will be standing.
I guess i’m supposed to come up with some deep spiritual idea from this. maybe i have. some things are worth holding onto….when we know a storm is coming, it’s time to bunker down and latch onto what we dare not lose. way to go mario.
Filed under: Family, Religion | Tags: bussing, friendship, graham elementary school, integration, racism, talladega alabama, terence, terrance, terrence turner
I grew up in a little racing town, you may have heard of it…. Talladega, Alabama. I attended Graham Elementary School, and after a transition to being away from home, I asked my parents to let me ride the bus to school…cause it looked so much fun!
That’s where I met Terrence Turner in 1981. He’s my age, somewhere in this universe…and he became my best friend from K-2 grades—> 2 of the toughest years of my life.
Terrence was my first close friend outside of my immediate family. He’s African American, and he had a Michael Jackson jacket. We attended school together just a few years after integration of public schools in Alabama, but we didn’t know what that was. We just knew we all loved being in school together.
I don’t have any pictures of us together, and I wouldn’t recognize him if I saw him today, but I can recognize what he did—-he was my first best friend from school. K-2 was the worst of times. In 1st grade, my grandmother was murdered back in Mississippi. In 2nd grade, my parents split up. Terrence was there through it all. Then, in the winter of 1982, my mom, baby brother and I left Talladega in a Uhaul truck. I never saw or heard from him again.
I have several favorite memories of Terrence. We played games everyday at recess. He was infinitely faster than me, but he always picked me to be on his team. I was way loyal to the kid. One day, he got in trouble during class, and had to miss half of recess. I was so sad I got in trouble on purpose as a show of solidarity.
And then there’s the Michael Jackson jacket… there was this game of tag that we were all involved in. I never caught anyone. I was always the slow kid! Terrence was quite the opposite…he was the fastest in our class. One day- I caught him, but in my ‘tag’, i ripped his brand new Michael Jackson Thriller Jacket. I had to give him $5 so his grandma would sew it for him.
Terrence, if you’re out there, I just wanted to say thanks. You were a gift from God to me. Maybe one day, you’ll google your name wondering if you’ve made a difference in the world….and you’ll find this. Maybe you didn’t make it to see your 33rd birthday like I did this past year. If you didn’t, I want your friends and family to know you left a legacy you didn’t even know about…you were a friend to this kid who needed one really bad. You were the first best friend I ever had. I look forward to seeing you again one day. I probably still can’t catch you, but if I do, I promise not to rip your jacket in the process.
Filed under: Family | Tags: road trippin, shreveport louisiana, superman returns, twitter
as chris bell would say, “the twitter shall set you free”. I’ve now got a personal twitter account (come subscribe and maybe follow me here), sending text blasts to myspace and this blog. virb and facebook may have to wait. i’m networked out.
it worked great today (once i got the mobile device turned on correctly). twitter is a great device to basically blog via text, which is huge as i travel through the mid south this weekend where wireless is scarce and teeth are scarcer….just kidding. i had some good thoughts twitting today…. especially while listening to arc’s all access conference and also while watching superman returns for the first time.
Filed under: Family | Tags: as best i remember it, forest ms, jones jr. college, kelley hawkins, kelly hawkins, kimberly carr, nacole, october 1 1995, raleigh mississippi, steve stockman, ted and charlotte hawkins
when I drive through Smith County Mississippi by the Lorena Baptist Church cemetery, I often find a way to stop and go see one of the best friends I ever had. Kelley Nacole Hawkins. She died in 1995 in a one car auto accident.
Kelley was 18 years old I think. A strong Christian from an amazing and unique family, she was a freshman at Jones Junior College in Laurel Mississippi. She grew up near Raleigh, in a little place called Lorena. She loved kids, and God did they love her.
When we lose someone, so young, it just has a way of messing us all up. She ran into a bridge in a curve on a back road in Mississippi, and she was gone. The next 2 days were a mess. Adults, college and high school kids, and children- we just didn’t know what to do. This girl had been the light of our lives. And she was gone in a flash.
but somehow she was still near and present…
Filed under: Family | Tags: father's day, questions, lord save us from your followers, hallmark needs a makeover
it was 10 pm on Father’s Day, and I called my dad. I was driving a van full of college kids back from a trip to O-town. and I realized it was father’s day (uh, i’d known all day right?) and punched out his digits.
due to my parents divorce in 1982, of all holidays, this one carries the most baggage for me (unless cinco de mayo counts). on Saturday I listened to a 5 year old boy talk to his dad over lunch at panera. as he drank his organic chocolate milk, he asked, “so a long time ago, you married mom? what was your name? who were you before you got married?”
after trying to explain–the dad just gave up….”Crazy. that was my name. and it’s going to be yours too.”
rachel looked at me, and i was crying.
stupid father’s day.
Filed under: Celebration Church, Family | Tags: beautiful baby girl, becca turner, health care crisis, josh turner, medicaid, motherhood, riley turner
this is the best picture I’ve seen in my life. Riley is still fighting. Josh and Becca need your prayers. Pray that they come up with a solution to their denial by medicaid, as they’ve gone over the insurance cap as they approach $1 million in care for their baby girl. Check out the blog here.
Filed under: Family | Tags: big john scott, dave ramsey, one prayer, pastor john scott
Have you ever had a month….
-that you wish would never have ended?
-that you finished with MUCH more on your prayer que than when it started?
-that seemed to be incomplete?
That was May for me. It was a fun month, with lots of good times and connections. In the context of a leadership training event recently, I pondered on my yellow tablet the things either unfinished or in the immediate future (20 days) for me. The list was staggering.
for that reason, it’s going to be May 32nd for a while for me. I’ve made a decision to break out of several things of the ordinary until about June 20.
and it hasn’t been easy at all. I’ll be transparent a bit.
