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This continues a series of blogs I write in thankfulness for the people in my life that have really been God’s gifts to me. This is #4. Even though, in the big scheme of things, he’s #1 to me.

One thing I’ve learned the past week with Ben’s death and being with so many of his friends and family is that we must be thankful for the people we love and cherish every moment with them.  I’ve been a youth pastor for 13 years. This past Friday night, I was at the first ever BTHS / Creekside H.S. football game, spending time with kids who were mourning the loss of their friend Ben Geiger. They did a ceremonial lap with these black flags and a moment of silence.

I hugged a lot of people… as the second quarter hit, my phone rang and this is what I heard….

“Hey man, I’m on the bus and we’ll be leaving for the Middle East in about 10 minutes.”

At those words, all the emotions I’d been trying to help others deal with overflowed inside of me, and I lost it. My brother was finally heading to the Middle East to serve his country.

“Ok buddy. I know you’re usually pretty chill…but I want you to know, you’re my brother and I love you with all my heart. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had…we are praying for your safety every moment of every day.”

After telling him again that I loved him, I hung up the phone and fell apart in that parking lot. As soon as he called, I began making my way out, cause I knew I was running on empty. It’s like the reality finally hit me. My brother, after 4 years in the military, would be in harms way now every day for at least a year.

Tighe’s the absolute best friend I’ve ever had. He was born in 1980. Once he learned to walk, I’d make him walk into dark rooms in front of me…that way, if a monster was there, i’d have time to get away. Once, I scalded him with hot water in a bath…i’d been throwing cold water on him, and he was laughing, laughing…then when i threw hot water on him, i thought it’d be funny…he cried his eyes out. I did too…probably from the whipping I got….but mainly cause I couldn’t stand to hurt my brother.

Not that I didn’t hurt him a bunch more times. I’ve always been way bigger than him. I once threw a brick at him to scare him…………………

…i missed, it hit him.

We both became Christians on the same day. A lady named Beatrice would pick us up from church from our stepdad, Henry Holmes ‘ house. We went to the Kalem United Methodist Church in Morton Mississippi, were saved when he was 6 and I was 12. We learned the books of the Bible together, were baptized the same day. Later, we’d sing duets together. We threw down a mean rendition of DC Talk’s “I wish we’d all been ready.”

He has always been more athletic than me…learning to play sports at a very young age…he’s played high school baseball 4 years, started at QB for his freshman fb team. I think he missed his calling as a LB. stupid quarterbacking…

Tighe was the ballboy on our state championship football team, the Forest Bearcats, in 1991-1992. That way we could spend more time together. After practice, we’d go everyday to get 2 bean burritos and 2 1 liter dr. peppers from a gas station on the way home. We played video games til all hours on our Nintendo. We watched pro-wrestling, then acted it out on our trampoline. We’d practice football plays together.

When I went off to college, Tighe was 12 years old. He had a scooter wreck the day before I left (on the motor scooter I’d just passed down to him), and it hurt him pretty bad, only millimeters from internal injuries. It was so tough to leave him then as I went to basic training at the US Air Force Academy. I cried every day in chapel praying for and missing him. He quickly healed up, and I remember the joy in getting to see him when he came to see me in CO.

He was at my college graduation. Came to visit me many times since I entered adult life. Staying weekends with me in Alabama and later in Florida. In 03 he graduated with his bachelors and got commissioned. 4 months later, he came to my wedding as my best man.

He drove me around all weekend, ran errands for me…we watched the 1st round of the draft together, Eli got picked up by the Chargers, then traded to the Giants. He has always been my right hand man. I’d give ANYTHING for him to move here when he’s done and help in our youth ministry.

How do you write something to tell your flesh and blood only brother how much you love him? In light of this week’s events..I never want him to go without knowing….no one’s ever been closer to me than him. From his ages 1-12, it was just me, him, and mom basically. Those 11 years, though they were the most difficult of my life…were the BEST. My ages 7-18….they were the story of me and my little brother. I won my first fight (after losing dozens), defending him on the bus from a kid older than me…. i pulled that kids rattail and just fell on him and threw a couple punches…… shannon yount had beat me up like 20 times before that day….and i think falling on him was what ‘won’ that one for me. so yeah shannon, the record is you 22, me 1. but it was the last one that counted!

Now I need Tighe to win every fight, every day. And I need God’s help on this one big time. Tighe came to spend a weekend with me and Rachel this summer. It was so good. Later in the summer, I spent a weekend roadtripping with him and getting our matching tattoos (along with Mom). The French Protestant Cross, with the Dove representing the Holy Spirit. That dove will protect him I pray.

Tighe, you are loved, and I think about you every minute. When you come back stateside, I’m for real. I need you down here with me. By the way ladies, he is single and is quite wealthy.